Believe it or not, kids needs friends not only for fun or play. They need friends in order to grow up as well-rounded individuals. In fact, many studies in the field of child psychology have proven this. Here are some truths which have been derived from these studies.
1) Creating friendships develops life skills that will increase your child’s wisdom, confidence and self-esteem.
2) Children will learn the meaning of true friendship. They will learn that a good friend will have their best interests at heart and have their back. Someone who is not your friend will not have these qualities.
3) They will learn how to deal with conflict and adversity. Conflict does arise among friends and as parents you will find perfect opportunities to teach your children how to navigate through conflict.
4) They will have peers to communicate their concerns, dreams and fears which will make them feel less alone and isolated.
5) When they become older, they will have childhood memories to fall back on- remembering how joyful it was like to hang out with friends.
6) If you as parents sharply curtail your children’s use of video games, texting and other electronics; children playing together will learn to create interesting, collaborative activities.
7) The children will get a sense of building their own community when they establish new friendships.
8) The opportunity to develop leadership skills increases as children play with other children.
9) The ability to make decisions is increased when children play with peers without micromanaging from adults.
10) The opportunity of playing freely with other children helps them develop their imagination which is important for a child’s development.
11) Playing with a several children will allow them to know how other families operate and they won’t feel shocked when faced with a family situation that is somewhat different from their own.
A great mom loves her kids unconditionally. She takes care of the family’s needs – physical, emotional and spiritual – without forgetting to spend time with them. She performs a lot of self-sacrificing duties just to prove her love and loyalty to her family.
But, are these the only ways by which you can be a great mom? I don’t think so. Here’s a short list of other things you can do to become a great mom.
Have some me time. Leave your children with their fathers to enjoy some adult interaction with your friends or to relax in the spa. Doing everything to the point of exhaustion will do you and your family no good.
Never aim to be perfect. Striving for perfection will kill you. Life’s full of surprises and we weren’t created to be perfect no matter how hard we try. Just do your best in everything you do and you will soon receive rewards for your best efforts.
Be Patient. Raising kids is hard work. You will lose your patience once in a while. That’s a given. But you must try to be patient for the benefit of your family. Choose your battles so that you don’t have to have your patience tested most of the time.
Listen to your children. Never assume that we know more than our kids do. Sometimes, it’s the other way around so we must truly listen to what our kids want to share. Also, listening actively to your children makes them feel valued.
Be their mom and not a friend to your kids. It’s good to have an open relationship with your children but be keen to set limits. Listen to your children and respect their opinion but reinstate the fact that you’re their mother – their parent and so you deserve their loyalty and disobedience.
Loving and raising a child with anxiety could be very challenging but it is not impossible. You simply need to understand their traits and the way they think. Read the following ideas if you still don’t know what makes your child tick or how to deal with her or him.
Kids with anxiety need your full support. It may seem that your child doesn’t pay attention to the support you provide but you can be assured that your support doesn’t go unmissed. Kids with anxiety over think a lot. They over think about so many things and these include the support that they get from the people they love.
Kids with anxiety communicate their feelings clearly. They like to talk and speak for themselves. If your child is quiet and doesn’t tell you how she feels, it’s because she chooses not to and this is isn’t caused by her anxiety.
Kids with anxiety get tired easily. Anxiety could be exhausting and not many people can understand that. Be reminded that your kid’s mind is always alert. She’d be ready to fight or fly with lots of thoughts floating in her head. So, be on guard about your reactions and responses to her.
Kids with anxiety get overwhelmed easily. Your kid might not find it enjoyable to try new things or go to different places every week. Kids with anxiety want to be fully aware of what will happen around them. If you don’t want your kid to settle for the same thing or situation, encourage her to relax and let her defenses down a bit so she can enjoy a wonderful time with you.
Trust is a big word that takes to build yet it can be broken in a second. A relationship based on trust is important for parents and children. Children who trust their parents every step of the way grow to be responsible and productive members of the society. Here are the 5 most effective ways for parents to earn a children’s trust:
1. Keep your promises. As a parent, your words are as good as gold to your children. They will believe instantly that you will do whatever it is that you promised to
do. And so, don’t break that unconditional trust they have on you. Keep all your promises no matter how small they seem to be. When kids know that they can trust your
word, they will always turn to you for everything they need.
2. Be honest. Never lie to your kids about things that truly matter to them and to your family. However, you must pick the right words or right ways of expressing
certain truths that can harm your children emotionally and psychologically. By showing your kids your honesty, they will be honest in return. In fact, telling the
truth wouldn’t be hard for them even though they become adults because you modeled honesty perfectly.
3. Be approachable. Exude the impression that your kids can tell you about everything – including sensitive issues. How do you do that? By keeping your cool. Refrain
from being immediately angry when your kids commit mistakes. Practice not yelling too no matter how angry you are. When you look approachable, your kids will believe
that your always on their side.
4. Be supportive no matter what. Kids feel confident when they know that their parents are always there to back them up. Be careful not to pamper or spoil them though.
Even if you need to reprimand your kids for their wrong deeds, never make them feel that they’re alone. Kids find life becomes easier and happier to live when they
have loving and supportive parents.
5. Be a role model. Never let your kid catch you cheating, lying, stealing, violating laws or abusing other people. Values are caught not taught. Kids will pick up all
these negative behaviours even though you teach them not to. If act like a good parent, your kids will be proud of you especially when other parents notice your good
Children make mistakes and parents are often unaware that they contribute to the mistakes their children make. How is that? Parents usually insist on perfection. Children commit more blunders than expected because they are pushed to achieve more than what their skills can bear.
Parents who grew in families where broken porcelain plates are more important than broken children usually require perfection once they have children of their own. Do you see yourself like that? If you do, you can break free from that cycle by acknowledging first that such thinking is wrong. Then, make your children understand that they – or people for that matter – are more important than porcelain plates.
Relax and let go of your desire for perfection. Allow some room for mistakes and correction. This will keep children from having resentment towards you and towards themselves. You can ask yourself the following questions to check your parenting style.
- Do I set up reasonable rules for my children?
- When I want my child to obey, do I speak in a calm but firm voice?
- Do I tell my children the truth?
- Do I ration my “no’s’ and allow reasonable behavior as often as I can?
- Do my husband and I have similar set of rules?
- Am I consistent in punishment for repeated identical infractions?
- Do I set realistic goals?
- Do I set good examples myself?
When the standards that you have set are characterized by fairness and respect, the children see their value and that they themselves can contribute to their family’s success. Moreover, they will learn how to discipline themselves whether someone is or not looking over their shoulders.
As I am writing this, I recall how one of my young nephews explained to his parents his urgent need for a mobile phone. No matter how convincing the explanation was, his parents disagreed of course. This made me think what my decisions will be if my pre-teen kid requests for a mobile phone too.
Convenience – It’s easy to know your kids’ whereabouts if they have mobile phones. You can contact them quickly with just one call or text message in case your plans change within the day.
Safety – In times of emergency, your kids can get in touch with you and ask for help faster using their cellphones. There are locator applications today that you can download on their phones. Utilizing this kind of application can get your kids easily tracked for help.
Radiation – Kids can get acquire radiation from radio waves through which these gadgets operate. Radiation can bring about many health problems. One of these is cancer.
Insomnia – Cellphones today come with many wonderful features like games and internet browsing. When kids are engrossed with these stuff, they will stay up all night. Moreover, your kids can also be disrupted if their cellphones sound at the middle of the night for incoming calls or text messages.
Crime – Kids with cellphones are effortless objects of theft. Bullying can also happen through calls and texting. It is important then to require your kids to openly share what’s going on with them and the people they’re in contact with in their phonebook.
The primary means to resolve sibling comparison lies in the hands of the parents themselves. Sensitivity is the key to all these. Parents must be sensitive to how one of their children would feel before even saying words that may imply comparisons. If the damage has already been done, experts of child psychology say that it is important to ask the affected kid to voice out their feelings about the comparison. Moving forward, parents must be ready to accept what their child would say no matter how negative they would turn out to be. Apologizing for the harm done may ease the pain and bring back the child’s confidence and trust in the parents again.
Giving fair credits to each of the children or siblings can also resolve comparisons. This is because fair credits affirm the talent and skills of each child no matter how different they are from each other. Doing this makes each child feel accepted. It also makes each child that they are special in their own ways and that they are valued by their parents all the same.